When Love Fades: RCCG Pastor Recounts Emotional Distance from Wife

Daniel Olawande, Lead Pastor of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), The Envoys Parish in Lagos, has candidly shared a challenging season in his marriage marked by emotional disconnection and intimacy struggles.

Speaking on the Love Gist podcast, Pastor Olawande revealed that, despite being naturally affectionate, he experienced a confusing phase where he felt withdrawn and distant from his wife.

“There was a time I felt completely disconnected from my wife,” he said. “I was just tired and overwhelmed. She didn’t appeal to me anymore. Even her touch irritated me. And this was strange because I’m naturally very affectionate.”

He explained that the emotional detachment affected their intimacy, with his wife initiating closeness while he remained distant.

“I wasn’t fasting, yet I had no interest in intimacy. I couldn’t explain it. I was easily angered, defensive, and emotionally off-balance,” he said.

In search of clarity, he sought help from his wife’s mentor, who later had a private conversation with her.

“I don’t know what was said during that meeting,” he recalled. “But the next evening, my wife asked to drive us somewhere. I agreed, not knowing what she had planned.”

To his surprise, they arrived at a hotel room adorned with roses and a romantic dinner setup.

“She told me she planned it all for me. I sat down to eat, deeply moved. Before I finished, I sent her money as a gesture of appreciation. In that moment, everything changed—suddenly, all the love I thought I’d lost came rushing back.”

Pastor Olawande’s honest account highlights the emotional ups and downs that can occur in marriage, and the power of intentional love, communication, and mentorship in overcoming them.