Pastor Tony Rapu, Senior Pastor of the House of Freedom in Lagos, shared a post on marriage on Friday afternoon.
The clergyman who has been married for over 30 years, advised intending couples to be aware that love alone cannot sustain a marriage. He also added that true loves is displayed only by grown-ups and not teenagers.
The problem with puppy love
Most couples who get married do it because they are ‘in love’ and they usually believe that the feelings that brought them together will last forever and will keep them together forever. The problem with this is that we cannot rely on feelings. Feelings can change depending on so many external factors and they often do. If your marriage is based on feelings, what then happens when the feelings begin to fade as they inevitably will? The marriage has nothing to stand on. If the only reason you got married was because you were ‘in love’ then you have no reason to stay married when the feelings are no longer there.
Being ‘in love’ is a great thing. Marrying without some form of emotional attachment would be sad, really. But being ‘in love’ is about the chemistry, the romance and the excitement. It’s about pounding hearts and a constant desire to want to see the person all the time. But this is what we call ‘puppy love’. It is good for the attraction in the beginning of the relationship. Being ‘in love’ is a wonderful thing and is needed to spice up marriage from time to time but it’s not real love and it’s not enough to sustain a marriage. Being ‘in love’ will fade so you need to expect that to happen and not be shocked when it does.
True love is not what you feel, it’s what you do. It is about commitment. True love cares, it gives, it gets hurt and is willing to die for the one it loves . We know this because the bible says God is love. He demonstrated His love for us on the cross. That’s real love. It makes sacrifices. That’s the kind of love that makes a marriage last a life time. It is the kind of love that gives something puppy love can never do. Real love is what brings emotional, physical and spiritual oneness in marriage. Puppies and teenagers can be in love but true love is for grown-ups.
Revealed… the five things YOU should know about breast cancer – according to an expert
Breast cancer is the most prevalent form of the disease plaguing women across both the developing and developed world
It is estimated around 508,000 women die each year from the disease, according to the World Health Organisation.
While for many women hearing the diagnosis will come as a devastating blow, more and more people are surviving the disease.
To mark Breast Cancer Awareness month, Dr Laura Esserman from the UC San Francisco reveals five things every woman should know about the disease
Dr Esserman is gearing up to embark on a five-year study that will tap into technology to improve breast cancer screening, and ultimately patient outcomes.
She leads the Athena Breast Health Network, a collaboration between the five University of California medical centers, and partners, that will soon be launching the WISDOM study.
The research aims to investigate whether a personalised approach to breast cancer screening is as safe and effective as annual mammograms.
Breast cancer is the most common kind of cancer among American women, except for skin cancer, and the second leading cause of cancer death in women, exceeded only by lung cancer.
But emerging knowledge offers reason for optimism.
Here are five things women should know about breast cancer, according to Dr Esserman….
BREAST CANCER IS MANY DISEASES
Breast cancer is, in fact, many diseases.
Some can be indolent (unlikely to cause patients harm) and some can be very aggressive.
We don’t want to treat them the same. Two people might walk into my office, both age 50, have the same size tumor, but it might be appropriate to have different treatments.
A patient may have a condition that doesn’t make radiation possible.
You have to make sure patients understand all of their options and are comfortable with their decisions because there’s more than one choice.
NOT ALL BREAST CANCER IS LIFE-THREATENING
More than one in five new cases of breast cancer diagnosed in U.S. women are ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS or ‘stage zero’ cancer), according to the American Cancer Society.
While this often is treated aggressively, evidence suggests that may be unnecessary for some patients.
Low-grade DCIS, I think, should not be called cancer at all.
These conditions can be watched and not treated as aggressively. One size does not fit all.
We’ve got lots of data. It’s time to take what we’ve learned and change practice.
We can continue to refine screening so low-grade DCIS doesn’t have to be a target for screening. It’s not just about finding every abnormality in the breast; it’s about finding people at high risk, finding consequential cancers and changing outcomes with interventions early on.’
SCREENING WON’T BENEFIT EVERY WOMAN
The annual mammogram recommendation is based on 30-year-old evidence.
It’s high time to have a modern trial where we try to figure out who is at risk for different types of breast cancer.
That’s what the WISDOM study is all about: Set up a framework where we can learn much more quickly.
We are going to test what many people still consider to be the gold standard – one mammogram a year for women 40 and over.
We’re working with a next-generation sequencing company, Color Genomics.
We’re trying to define from the genetics side what influences risk and then we’re going to test it to see if it improves screening.
We’ll integrate the data on a Salesforce platform.
We’re going to generate a risk for women and that will trigger when to start screening, when to stop screening and how often to screen.
Over time we’ll learn who is at risk for breast cancer and who is at risk for different interventions. If this works, this could be a good paradigm to approach any disease.
CONSIDER TAKING PART IN A CLINICAL TRIAL
Improvements in clinical care depend on scientific research.
Currently only three to five per cent of women participate in clinical trials.
The goal is to get consideration of clinical trials to be the norm rather than the exception.
We’re trying to recruit 100,000 women for the WISDOM study.
We’re asking women to share their stories and their wisdom. The only way to know better is to study the alternatives. In screening, the only way to know better is to be part of the WISDOM study.
We’re asking providers to be open. We hope at the end of this trial, we’ll have a better model for risk assessment.
We’re asking payers and insurers to step up to the plate and implement coverage for risk-based screening, just as they currently do for annual screening.
UC Health is supporting this program for all the people who get benefits from UC Care. Blue Shield has stepped up, too. We’re in conversation with a number of companies and insurers to participate as well.
PRECISION MEDICINE IS SHOWING PROMISE
The essence of precision medicine is being able to tailor treatment to biology, patient preference and clinical performance.
The WISDOM study is precision screening. We want to be smarter. We want to do it just right.
It’s ‘Moneyball’ for medicine. The story of the Oakland A’s is how people discovered that statistics tell a story that can actually affect strategies and improve outcomes.
Think about the data on every player that you have at your fingertips – data that can help to make better decisions.
We need that same kind of data at our fingertips in medicine, so that we can keep improving the field.
That’s what our partnership with Salesforce is all about: How do we take advantage of technology to make medicine better?
This is not a study that any one institution could accomplish on its own. UC is really interested in population health, and we have the power to collect and address these big issues that matter to the public.
I think that we’re going to find this is a much more efficient way to screen. It will help us figure out how best to prevent breast cancer.
How red wine slows dementia (if you drink 1,000 bottles a day): Drug found in grapes ‘may have some positive effects’ on helping patients complete day-to-day tasks
How red wine slows dementia (if you drink 1,000 bottles a day): Drug found in grapes ‘may have some positive effects’ on helping patients complete day-to-day tasks
Researchers studied the effect of resveratrol, found in red grapes, on people with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s.
They said the drug – also seen in raspberries, dark chocolate and peanuts – ‘may have some positive effects’ on helping patients complete day-to-day tasks, such as ‘using the telephone and cooking at home’.
The chemical was also found to stop the levels of key protein amyloid beta 40, known as a ‘biomarker’, falling in the blood and spinal fluid of Alzheimer’s sufferers. Levels of the biomarker usually fall as the disease progresses, but the levels of those who took resveratrol in the clinical trial remained steady – suggesting the drug may affect the underlying process that causes Alzheimer’s.
In the year-long study by Georgetown University Medical Centre in Washington DC, pure synthetic resveratrol was given to some of the 119 participants.
The highest dose tested was one gram twice a day – equivalent to the amount found in about 1,000 bottles of red wine.
Out of four cognitive tests, the researchers found an improvement among resveratrol patients on a measure called the day-to-day living scale, which looks at how patients cope with household activities. The results, published online by the journal Neurology, were described as ‘very interesting’ by the researchers.
But lead investigator Dr R. Scott Turner warned the findings cannot be used to recommend resveratrol without further research.
He said: ‘This is a single, small study with findings that call for further research to interpret properly.
‘We can’t conclude from this study that the effects of resveratrol treatment are beneficial.’
However Dr Turner said the study concluded resveratrol was safe and well tolerated by the body. The most common side-effects experienced by participants included nausea, diarrhoea and weight loss. Further studies are now under way.
Couple who claimed their newborn was swapped with ‘changeling’ baby in human trafficking racket at El Salvador hospital are REUNITED with their lost son after other mothers take DNA test
Investigators tracked down the Cushworths’ biological child by ordering other new mothers to have their babies DNA tested.
David Cushworth, who accompanied the couple as the two children were swapped and reunited with their biological parents, said: ‘We’re all absolutely thrilled. This is an answer to so many prayers.
‘All the circumstantial evidence pointed to a criminal act, but the official story we are being told appears to show it was a mistake, a mix-up.
‘I can’t say for sure what really happened. We’ll have to see how it works out through the legal system before can be certain.
‘I feel for the other family. We know nothing about them, except that they only just found out today that their baby isn’t really theirs. It must have been devastating.
‘At least we suspected there was something wrong. It seems like they had no idea. Or if they suspected something, they didn’t want to say.’
Speaking to MailOnline on Monday Mr Cushworth Snr, a former police officer from Bradford, West Yorkshire, said the family have been forced to sign a gagging order.
The child exchange took place before a judge in a sixth floor office at the Prosecutor General’s in Santa Elena a suburb of San Salvador.
David Cushworth would not comment on whether the family still thought the doctor was involved in the child swap.
‘We’re just happy it’s resolved,’ he said.
On Tuesday morning, the Cushworths took to Facebook to thank their supporters as they revelled in being reunited with their child.
‘There are no words to express what our heart feels to have our baby at home! Thanks to all who joined our pain and fed our hope.
‘Thank God our family this gathered, for the moment we are not allowed to upload photos but soon we’ll give them more details of the outcome of this miracle.
Both the Cushworths and the parents of the son they were rearing were placed under a gag order by the judge in the case as the children were exchanged officially late Monday.
Prosecutor General Luis Martinez told reporters the two boys’ privacy was paramount. ‘The families need to keep it to themselves to protect the children’s rights,’ he said.
‘We appreciate the help we received from the forensics to help solve this tragic event.
‘It ended up being a scenario where love, friendship and tenderness won.’
‘Let’s remember the story where King Solomon used his sword – but here we did not use a sword, here we used the force of truth and justice.’
The Cushworths had accused Dr Alejandro Guidos, a gynaecologist at the prestigious Centro Ginecologico hospital, of masterminding a plot with other hospital staff to switch their light-skinned baby and sell him to human traffickers.
But yesterday afternoon, hours after the family attended court to hear Dr Guidos formally accused, the country’s Attorney General’s Office announced that their investigations had already identified their biological baby.
Dr Guidos was freed by authorities on Monday evening, but it is understood that he is still under investigation.
Speaking to reporters, Dr Guidos said: ‘I’m perfectly calm. I have nothing to prove. I am innocent.
‘The tests proved that and we move on.’
He also attacked both the Cushworths and the Centro Ginecologico hospital, adding: ‘A public apology will not be enough.’
‘The doctors have humiliated me. They judged me and condemned me before time.’
The parents of four other boys who were also born on the same day, May 21, had last week brought their babies to be DNA tested after an order was issued by the country’s Prosecutor General’s Office, which had taken over the investigation.
The baby whose tests were last to be processed proved to be the couple’s real child.
Cushworth, who is a British citizen but has spent almost his entire life in the United States where his parents are also missionaries, had pleaded for support from UK but not US authorities.
His father had flown from Wilmington, Delaware, to be with him and his wife, who is from El Salvador.
Speaking last night, Prosecutor General Luis Martinez said that the babies of two couples had been mixed up and that each would be returned to their rightful parents at a special court hearing.
He added: ‘We understand the painful drama of these two families. We are talking about two children who were swapped.’
The family’s lawyer, Fernando Meneses, said that the case ‘apparently’ seemed to be an accidental mix-up of the infants and urged the hospital to review procedures to ensure it could not happen again.
Speaking exclusively to MailOnline before finding out about their biological son, Mercy said that she and her husband hoped to keep their ‘changeling’ baby, who they have been calling Jacob.
‘I love my baby, he is my baby, I am even breastfeeding him right now,’ she says of baby Jacob.
‘If they can’t find his mother, he already has parents, us. We are taking care of him and, even though we know he isn’t our biological son, we still love him.
‘We are praying and trusting in God that he will help us.’
Ms Casanellas said she was convinced that her obstetrician, Dr Alejandro Guidos who is currently under arrest, had planned the swap all along.
Mercy, a missionary working in a large church in San Salvador, had been based in Dallas, Texas with her British husband Richard Cushworth.
The Cushworths’ son was due to be born on June 20, and in order to be present at the birth, Mr Cushworth had departed for a month-long trip mid-May.
However, just a few days later – five weeks ahead of due date – Mercy was told by Dr. Guidos that she would need an emergency Cesarean.
‘Richard was out of the country and suddenly the doctor said ‘no the baby has to be delivered today’, so he got me to the hospital immediately and got the baby out by c-section.
‘The anesthesiologist, the pediatrician – the entire team was chosen by him, I did not know them.’
Ms Casanellas also told MailOnline that Dr Guidos had been unusually close to her during her pregnancy.
‘One night in January we feared that I was about to have a miscarriage, and he stayed with me the whole night, stayed by my bedside and cared for me.
‘I considered that very nice of him, very professional, and it was not until I told the investigators about this after the swap that they told me that this is not how it is done.
‘He was also the only person who knew that my husband was British and that he would be out of the country for one month.’
Ms Casanellas was taken to the Centro Ginecologico, a private hospital in San Salvador, and underwent an emergency Caesarean on May 21st this year, at 35 weeks pregnant. Jacob was born weighing six pounds.
‘I saw my son at 9.30pm when he was born, and then they put me to sleep. In the morning, around 8am, they brought in everyone’s baby, but they never brought mine.
‘I told them ‘Where is my baby? Where is my son?’ but they just told me: ‘He is coming, he is coming.’
‘They brought him at lunch time, and I asked them ‘why is this baby different?’ He has darker skin, his facial features were different, his nose, his eyebrows.
‘They told me that it was because he was a newborn and that he was swollen and that he would change.
‘They said his skin would get lighter and that the swelling would go down. They said everything was ok, so I believed them.
‘But then my family started to make comments, they kept saying “this baby has darker skin”, and “he doesn’t look like your husband and he doesn’t look like you” for the next two months.’
After Mercy had recovered from her c-section she and her husband began readying themselves for their return to Dallas, Texas, where she is set to study for a Masters degree.
‘I didn’t want to think about the idea of a switch because I am very connected to my baby and I breastfed him every day – I still do.
‘I thought, ‘how could I even think that this is not my child?’, but the thoughts were always on my mind, and finally I made the decision to to a DNA test because I didn’t want to have these thoughts hanging over me as I went to study for my Masters.’
The DNA test, which was sent from El Salvador to two separate labs in the U.S., came back to show that there is zero per cent chance of Mercy and Richard being the biological parents of little Jacob.
Ms Casanellas and Mr Cushworth – whose parents were from Bradford, West Yorkshire, and now live in Wilmington, Delaware – previously appeared on a local TV station, pleading for their child’s return.
A teary Ms Casanellas said: ‘We haven’t been able to sleep thinking about where he is, and who has him.
‘We just want them to give us our son back.’ Mr Cushworth, who met Ms Casanellas when he worked as a missionary in El Salvador, added: ‘It’s a horrible situation. I have a child and I don’t know where he is.’
Before finding out that another couple had been raising their biological son,Mercy and the Cushworth family provided evidence that their child may even have been swapped.
In the pictures taken by Mercy’s friend who was present at the birth, their biological child can be seen with a yellow clip around his umbilical cord – a clip which is not removed until the cord falls off naturally.
However, the baby that was handed back to Mercy had a white clip around his umbilical cord.
‘We had the footprints taken of my child when he was born for his birth certificate. Later when I went back to change a mistake on the document I noticed that the prints on his certificate were different to the ones we had – they were smaller and a different pattern.’
At first San Salvador’s Ginecologio hospital, considered the best private hospital in the country, denied that the baby could have been swapped, saying it was ‘impossible’ due to their ‘high standards’ of control.
In the indictment against Dr Alejandro Reyes Guidos on Monday, prosecutors from the Attorney General’s Office asked for urgent authorization to perform searches of facilities at the Centro Ginocologico hospital, and Dr Guido’s clinic, saying they have the necessary evidence to suggest that in these premises ‘objects linked to the probable crime’ would be found.
Among the accusations made by the mother was that she asked Dr Guidos on several occasions if the baby would be white, to which he reponded ‘No, because latin genes are stronger’.
The report said that, after leaving hospital with the baby four days after the birth, Ms Casanellas changed him for the first time and noticed that his testicles were very dark, unlike how she had remembered. She also saw that the baby had ‘an abundance of black hair, when she had remembered her baby being bald.’
She also said that, while in the delivery room her son had weighed six pounds, ten days after the birth when Ms Casanellas took him to be weighed again, the baby weighed seven pounds, which she thought was strange for a baby who had been born premature.
The baby she took home also had a mole, unlike the baby she had held in the delivery room, according to the indictment.
Ms Casanellas made contact with the El Salvador authorities on August 27, after receiving the results of the DNA test, but said she was ‘feeling very ill’ and wasn’t able to travel to the country immediately.
The Attorney General’s Office ordered the confiscation of all the hospital’s CCTV equipment, administration and medical registers, and information about all the mothers and babies attended by Dr Guidos.
Earlier on Monday, The El Salvador Gynecology and Obstetrics Association (ASOGOES), of which Dr Guidos is a member, called for the presumption of innocence enshrined in the country’s constitution for Dr Guidos, and demanded that ‘due process is performed, respecting this guarantee as a person and as a medical professional.’
They also called on the Attorney General’s Office to conduct investigations ‘in order for Dr Guidos’ innocence to be proved.’
‘When an obstetrician attends a birth, whether naturally or by Caesarean, it is normal that the baby is immediately handed over to the neonatologist or paediatric nurse,’ a spokesperson said.
‘So if there is any swapping of the baby it is impossible for the obstetrician to do this.’
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